Hi again Deservingone26 . . . I have just gone back and re-read all of your threads . . . may I suggest you do the same if you haven't recently. The reason being, that many of your questions have already been answered.
It is clear that you are a young adult . . . please . . . be patient.
There is so much ahead of you to learn . . . about yourself . . . and the world around you . . . give yourself the opportunity to do so and you will soon find time and experience will provide you with many of the answers you seek . . . and with the right approach (a patient one), you will find the experience itself to be rewarding and enjoyable.
As for the folks here . . . bear in mind that many are still inextricably connected to WT for family reasons and come here for aid in dealing with issues. I hope it is your experience (as has been mine) that the people here are on the most part very caring and good people. Remember too, that for many of us, the WT experience has been a long and intense one, and feel we have lost a large part of our lives to it. And of course, the posters here are coming and going all the time . . . most acknowledge it's a"half-way house" . . . and many have extended stays in order to be of help to others. Either way . . . the shared experience of WT forms the basis of a strong bond.
A patient approach in spiritual matters will benefit you also . . . get used to allowing a place for the "unknown", and yes, make sure of all things. Persue such matters with a clean table before you . . . you'll be suprised what you find . . . and a prayer or two to the one who said "Come to me . . ." . . . can be of great benefit too, in my humble opinion.
Before I began studying almost 30 years ago, I had an avid interest in aviation . . . I spent a few years skydiving and became a qualified pilot before flagging it all for "the truth" . . . since leaving WT I have rejuvinated that interest and made numerous friends of real value.
Hurling yourself at the ground from a great height may not appeal . . . but there must be something you've always wanted to "give it a go" . . . think about it . . . and "give it a go", whatever it may be . . . meet new people . . . there are lot's of good people out there, contrary to what WT may portray.
Do not become overly anxious about now . . . things will get better . . . you'll see. So, stick around for a while yet . . . we're interested, really. I sincerely wish you all the best.
Luvonya